Hangover

Week 5 coming up. Big week. Who separates themselves from the pack. Champions do, that’s who. We have two huge matchups this week. The Tavern takes on Mr. Buckwild for the right to potential first place. And Young Stunna takes on 2 pt. Two teams will be 4-1 after these two games. I think we all want the Jedi-Josh combo to go down. They’re like the Soviets in the Cold War. Us Americans don’t like em. They must be taken down. If you have any pride in your country, your rooting for the Tavern this week. And look at Stunna at 3-1. It was only 3 weeks ago he was ready to throw in the towel. But hey, anything can happen in fantasy. It only takes one or two pickups/trades/lucky breaks to totally alter the outcome. Speaking of breaks, Average Joes needs one baaaaad. He’s on a lonely island right now. He’s beaten down like Chuck Noland was in Castaway. He needs to find that port-a-potty door to escape off the winless island. Lets hope.

Key pickups for the week:

-         Buckwilds does his research man. Picked up Torian from the Skins. Portis is banged up and Torian’s getting the load. As his opponent this week I hope he breaks his ankle.

-         The Tavern picked up the kickoff returner for the Pats. Mr. Tate. Hes the deep threat now that Randy “Straight Cash” Moss is gone.

-         Swayze dropped the disappointing Mike Crabtree. I don’t blame him. I’m one more week away from doing it myself in my other league. He’s really crapped the bed this year. Maybe its his QB but still. I want production out of my 2^nd WR. Ughh. Swayze needs to catch some breaks also. Looking at his record would be misleading to how good this team is. He faces the wrong teams on the wrong Sundays. He is third in points scored and is still in 7^th place. That must hurt. Hopefully my new pickup, Tate, will provide his QB with some points.

-         This pickup hasn’t happened yet but why hasn’t Stunna picked up David Garrard to maintain the Bizarro Football lineup. I know hes more up and down in performance than an elevator but you gotta keep the shtick going. I don’t want to call the Karma Police.

Top 10 Fantasy Performers of the Year

1. Manning
2. Orton
3. Phil Rivers
4. Rodgers
5. Foster
6. Brees
7. Vick
8.  Brady
9. Gates
10. Carson
11. SHAUN HILL!!!

I had to include the 11^th player because I mean, Shaun freaking Hill. Wow. I’m shocked. Shocked. And Carson Palmer at #10. If you looked strictly at fantasy numbers and didn’t watch his actual performance throughout the year you would think hes having a Pro Bowl season. But hes not. Far from it, actually. Bill Simmons has poked fun at him routinely throughtout the season because Carson has thrown around 10 “dropped” interceptions (passes that the defender should’ve had, but dropped). I’ve watched a couple of Bengals games and thought, maybe, Carson is done. Fantasy ain’t reality, holmes. QB’s are overvalued in this league though. They get 10 bonus points for throwing 300 yards. 300 yards is nothing nowadays. 10 QB’s threw for over 4000 yards last year. I think it should be bumped up to 325.  Another rule I’d like to implement is having a cap for free agent pickups. If you want to pick someone up you have to pay a price. You have a set cap for the year. $100 total. Say you bid $100 for Orton in Week 2. You get him. Then you’re done for the year. No more pickups. I like that idea.

Stay tuned for a Last Call where I take a power rankings of the teams and compare them to an NFL team.